Emotional night

Had a PERFECT night with Shelby... Horseback riding, cooking dinner, ice cream, bath, play time, prayers and night time. Thankful for my blessings and counting them all!

What fun! This is Shelby playing in the water buckets we were filling for the horses.








I have always been grateful for the life I have... The good, the bad and the ugly. This week has taken it to a whole new level. My friend, Ruth, lost her brother to cancer last night at 8 PM. As we talked about her weekends with him it brought back memories of Mom and spending time with her. One memory sticks out. I don't know why. It just does.

She was pretty sick soshe walked much slower than what I was used to. In the past, I would have to almost sprint to keep up with her. We were at the Bay City mall walking into Target. I can still remember the sunny, but cold day and telling myself to slow down. That's it but I remember.

The other I remember is her teaching me how to make her egg rolls Christmas 2001. She was so weak she would have to sit down and rest. I love her for sucking it up to share that moment with me. Now I make them with pride and always remember that night...so many memories and those two stick the most... Simple but there. That's what life is about...the simple moments....

I have also been following @laylagrace on Twitter and at www.laylagrace.org. My heart aches for this family. I am so confused and struggle with why children have to die. I think about my nephew Ryan often. Why him? Why us? Why Layla?

I then pray for Shelby. I pray for a long life with her and her kids. I see us traveling from barrel race to barrel race together. I pray to be her best friend when she grows up. I pray that she knows I love her because I tell her and show her.

As I work through all these emotions I have to know God has His arms around ALL HIs children. Everyone one of us... Young, middle aged and old...we are still His children and His heart still aches for us.

I can only hope that my plans line up with God's plans. Being a Mom is scary and exhausting. I hear those feelings never go away. I can only pray that the fear of the unknown subsides and I NEVER forget to love life and those in my life.

I love you all.