7 Years Yesterday

I don't bring this up in saddness. I bring this up in memory. Yesterday was the 7th anniversary of my Mom, Marlene Helmreich, passing away. It is hard to believe my Mom has been gone that long. I feel blessed that I was able to move forward by cherishing the memories of her, but letting go of the saddness it brings me knowing she is no longer here. I have my moments, but most of the time I am at peace with her passing away so early in my life.

I did find saddness at times during my pregnancy and shortly after Shelby was born. I also felt pride knowing I was able to give her a grandaughter. Being the youngest of three and marrying so late in my 20s I always felt that when it came to me it was a "been there, done that" moment. So, to offer something that noone else has in the past makes me feel good. But, it also makes me feel sad because Mom wasn't here to experience it with me. (However, I do have some girl clothes that my Mom had bought with hopes of one day having a girl.)

So, here's to you Mom. You were the rock of our family and I am blessed to be your daughter. I hope I continue to make you proud! What you taught me growing up has taught me to be a strong, independent woman and I am thankful for that! You have taught me to be happy with who I am and not worry about what others said or were doing.

I still remember in my early 20s a friend of yours asked when I was going to get married. After all, her daughter had been married with a couple of kids! Your reply was "Why would she get married, she is having so much fun now!" I also remember when my pony, Chico, was very old and very ill. It was the middle of winter and I was walking him around the garage cause it wasn't as cold and it was late at night. Your friend had called very distraught about a family issue and your reply was "I am very sorry, but I can't talk right now. My daughter needs me." That still makes me smile. My problem was really small compared to your friend's problem, but you chose me. I am so thankful for those special memories and many more.

I have to laugh cause us girls are just as stubborn as my Mom was. My dad gets really frustrated with us sometimes, but at least we are fighters and survivors! :) I pray every night over Shelby that she may live a long, healthy life and that I get to enjoy it with her! I can just see the two of us together running down the road chasing our barrel racing dreams! Who knows, maybe there will be a 3rd generation little girl running with us too. Poor Ryan! hehehehe...